here without you
by riseofafallenangel
Summary: postwar. Not really sure what to put in this comment without making it sound really bad so you should read it and find out for yourself. Slash HP?
1. prologue

A/N: hey all! Before you start reading this should know it is slash. If you don't like it then what the hell are you doing here! Go read something else. Any flames will be read and laughed at and quickly forgotten but you can post them if you want, they crack me up. Anyway… on with the fic…

Prologue

As the sun began to set a young man with raven black hair sat on a hill watching it, a small smile on his face. This was the only place he could be where he could be alone, happy and peaceful. When he was here he couldn't remember what it was that had destroyed his happiness in the first place.

Once the sun had disappeared he slowly got to his feet and walked down the hill. As he approached the bottom he felt a shiver go down his spine. He hadn't meant to come this way again. He always meant to go another way but every night he found himself at the bottom of the hill again.

Beneath his feet he felt the ground shake. He began to run. He didn't know where he was going; he just had to get away before they came. He was too late. They had already surrounded him and every second they were moving closer, their blank, dead eyes staring at him. He couldn't stand it. He sank to his knees begging and pleading them to leave but they just came closer. He could see their faces now. Faces he knew. The faces of people he had cared about. He saw his parents and his best friend, people he had loved like family and they were all drawing nearer whispering something under their breath.

"Your fault, all your fault, you killed us, murderer, murderer, murderer…"

He buried his head in his hands and looked downwards to block out the sight of them but as he looked down something he saw made him scream. There was a man buried under the ground. Only his face was visible but his face was covered in spiders, crawling all over him, in through his empty eye sockets, eating away at his skin, biting and scratching him.

The young man sat by the man in the ground with tears pouring down his face repeating the same word over and over: "Sirius…"

A/N: rewiew!


	2. Chapter 1

A/N- This chapter is longer than the last one. It is taking a bit longer to make the story start than I thought it would so just bear with me for a little bit longer…

Chapter 1

Harry crept down the stairs of 12 Grimmauld place. It was late and he knew if Remus found him sneaking out again he would tell him not to go. Or come with him. He wasn't sure what would be worse. He loved Remus, he had been a great friend to him through the war and he dint know what he would've done without him, but sometimes he just needed to escape. Be with a load of people who didn't know who he was, didn't know what he had lost. People like that never wore that expression that said "hey look its Harry Potter!" or the worse one that said "I'm so sorry". He didn't want their sympathy, it was all so fake.

He walked to the end of the garden and apparated to a side alley in a nearby muggle town and made his way to the local night club.

The music was deafening and he couldn't see anything through the lights but he easily found his way to the bar and sat down. The bartender saw him and came over.

"Hey, we've been expecting you to turn up, the usual?"

Harry just grunted, the man took it as a yes and went away to get his drink. Since the end of the war Harry had been coming here a lot. He had a pattern: he woke up at about 2 pm, lounged around the house for a bit, had a shower, went out and got hammered, then came home and slept until 2 pm. Remus had tried to get him to do other things, tried to make him cheer up, but so far he hadn't succeeded and he had nearly given up trying. Harry knew the others were worried about him but he didn't care. If he stayed home and slept, if he didn't get drunk, the dreams would come back, and he couldn't face that.

He threw back the drink that the bartender had brought him and went to the dance floor.

It was 5 in the morning by the time he got home. He had spent the whole night dancing and drinking and snogging half of the people in the club. He smiled to himself. He was going to have to find a new club soon or he would run out of new people to get off with.

He went to his room and collapsed on his bed and in less than a minute, he was asleep.

Remus watched as Harry came into to house and sighed. He wanted to help Harry get over the war but every day he became more and more closed up. He had thought it was getting better a few months ago. For the first night in ages he had slept through the whole night without hearing Harry cry out in his sleep. The quiet nights continued for a couple of weeks but one night Remus hadn't been able to sleep and had heard Harry creep into the house. When he went out to see where he had been he saw he was drunk. There had been a lot of fights about that. Harry said he was a grown man and could look after himself but Remus knew he couldn't. He was depressed and vulnerable after everything he had seen in the war and he needed help. Remus had tried to get him to talk to him about it but he wouldn't and now he couldn't think of any other way to help the young man. He had contacted Hermione and asked her to come and stay. Since Ron had been killed they had hardly seen each other. Remus hoped that it would help at least a little bit because if it didn't he would have to give up.

A/N: ok the next chapter is going to have Hermione in and hopefully something might happen.

Just to clear it up because my friend said she was confused- the prologue was Harry's dream. Review!


	3. chapter 2

A/N: This chapter is going to be the size of a real chapter! this is a big thing for me because i always think i have written way more than i really have. Anyway...

Chapter 2- friends, letters and misplaced guilt 

"So... erm... you wanna do something today?" Hermione had been staying with Harry and Remus for 3 days and Harry had barely said a word to her.

"I s'pose" Harry grumbled. Hermione fumed inwardly. Did he have any idea how infuriating he was being?

"Ok so how about we go shopping? we always used to have fun when we went shopping. It will be just like old times..."

"It isn't the 'old times' anymore Hermione" Harry snapped.

"Fine we won't go then"

"Look i'm sorry hermione we can go if you want..." Hermione lost it. Remus had asked her to come and try and make Harry feel better but how could she do that if he didn't want to talk?

"No. You'd obviously rather stay here feeling sorry for yourself. That's fine. I'd rather go alone anyway. At least then i won't have to listen to you being a moody pig!" she was shouting now. She stopped and waited for a reaction but none came. She turned and stormed towards the door but as she got there she turned and looked over her shoulder and what she saw made her stop.

Harry was crying. He was sitting, hunched over, with tears running down his face. Suddenly she didn't feel angry anymore. She was filled with guilt and felt an overwhelming urge to run back and hug her best friend. And that's what she did.

They sat together for hours, not speaking, just sitting with their arms around each other before Hermione decided it was time to move.

"Harry" she whispered. "Harry?" there was no reply. Harry was asleep. His face was pale and he was shaking.

"Harry, wake up!" she said, louder this time, her voice worried "Harry!"

As if he had heard her he suddenly woke up. His eyes were wide and he was still shaking. He put his head on Hermione's shoulder and whimpered something she couldn't hear.

"What did you say?" she didn't really expect an answer but she asked anyway.

"It was my fault"

"What was your fault?"

"My parents, Ron, Ginny, Fred, George, Mrs Weasly, Dumbledore... Sirius. All of it. It was all my fault."

Hermione was shocked.

"Harry! you can't really think that! it's not true. I thought you knew that before!"

She remembered last year. A few months after the war had ended. He'd been fine then. He was still cut up by the loss of his friends but everyone was. She thought he had stopped blaming himself a long time ago.

"Well i was wrong ok. It was my fault. i know that now."

Hermione was beginning to get confused. She was about to start asking questions when Harry started talking again.

"You know when i went to Italy at the beginning of the year?"

'Yeah i remember' she thought silently to herself 'that was just before you changed' out loud she only said "Yes"

"Right well when i was there i met this guy. We got on really well so i left we decided to write to each other. We carried on talking for a while and then he sent this really wierd letter. It said... i still have it upstairs. Hang on, i'll get it for you"

He ran up the stairs and was back in a matter of moments.

"Here." He handed Hermione a piece of parchment covered in black, scribbly writing.

"Harry," the letter read.  
"It's me again. I suppose that now we've been talking for a while, it would be as good a time as any to confess something. When i said i hadn't heard of you before i was lying. In fact, you were the whole reason I was in that part of Italy in the first place. I'm writing a book, you see. It's about the effects of guilt on the human mind.  
Before i met you, i expected you to be an emotional wreck due to all the lives lost because of you. Imagine my shock when, far from being completely destroyed, you were perfectly happy and your life was already back to normal even though those who died on your behalf will never have a life at all.  
Are you completely oblivious to the fact, that if you weren't here, many innocent lives would have been spared or do you just not care? please send another letter and answer my questions as i know they would help with my book.  
To be honest though, your complete lack of any guilt or remorsful feelings whatsoever make me feel sick. Alot of the people i refer to were supposedly 'close' to you. Do you not even mourn them? if not, were you ever really close or was it all just part of you image? Please reply. I am genuinely curious as to how such a cold mind works.  
Liam

P.s. If i could get an interview that would be great too. I can see it now "the life of a cold, heartless murderer"  
thanks."

Hermione read the whole thing n stunned silence.

"And you believe that! Harry, i have to ask... HAVE YOU COMPLETELY LOST IT! he's just some random psyco. He doesn't know what he's alking about!"

"But he was right. It was all because of me."

"No it wasn't! They all chose to fight. They died fighting for what they believed in. You couldn't have stopped them doing that"

"what about my parents? they didn't ch..."

"There was nothing you could do. You were only a baby Harry."

"Ok. so what about Sirius?"

Hermione shook her head and spoke quietly and calmly to him.

"That was a long time ago Harry. You have to let him go"

"He was the closest thing i had left to a family and he died because of me"

"It wasn't your fault. Some things in life just... happen"

Harry didn't say anything for a while and when he did reply his voice was so quiet it was nearly a whisper.

"I know it was a long time ago Hermione i still remember the exact day. I thought i let go a long time ago but now.  
ever since i got that letter, he's all i can think about. Every day i can see him in mind, falling and every night i dream about him and he's always dead. He's never coming back and if i wasn't here he would probably still be alive.  
So no matter what you say, it was my fault. Let me deal with that my own way"

He turned and left the room leaving Hermione staring at his retreating back. 


	4. Chapter 3

A/N: I'm back! What no cheer? That's hurts… anyways, here's chapter 3 (or 4 if you count the prologue). I apologise in advance for any stupid mistakes. It's really late and… that's the only excuse I got, and it's not even a very good one. Oh well…

Disclaimer I forgot this on the other chapters): the characters aren't mine, life is harsh that way but that's how it is. Don't sue me, I am skint (donations are welcome).

Chapter 3 

Walking around in the dark gets very tedious after a while. For the first few minutes it's quite funny but that wears a bit thin by the time an hour has passed.

Sirius had been walking in the dark for 6 years.

He had lost count of the days. There were no days behind the veil, just nights, empty nights with no moon, no stars, no breeze, nothing.

He was pretty sure he was dead, the fact that he hadn't eaten or slept for 6 years and still didn't feel like he needed to told him that but there was no one there to tell him what was happening. He was all alone in the dark and it looked like he was going to stay that way, maybe forever.

Forever… the thought sent a shudder down his back. He would go mad, he was sure of that much. The dark, silence would drive him to insanity.

At first he had talked to himself, just to hear a human voice, and watched the people on the other side of the veil in the Department of Mysteries, just because it was the only thing to see, but he had long since forgotten the sound of his voice and the people on the other side seemed more like illusion than reality.

He lay down on the floor and watched the rippling veil and thought about his life- something he had been doing a lot recently. He went over all the things that had gone wrong and all the things that had been so right and missed all of them. Even in the worst moments of his life, at least he had felt real, now he couldn't feel that anymore. He was just a shadow.

Hermione wasn't sure why she had come here, she had wanted to help Harry but she didn't know why she thought the answer would be here.

She gazed around her.

'Something better come out of this. I did not just break into the Ministry of Magic for nothing' she thought furiously.

The Department of Mysteries was even colder and greyer than it was in her memory. It was covered in dust and looked as if nobody had been there for years. She looked at the huge archway at the other end of the room, swore under her breath and walked over to it.

It wasn't until she got there that she realised that the archway covered with a black veil. So that was what Harry meant by the veil. She wondered briefly why it was that she could see it now but quickly dismissed it as something to do with the war and went back to examining it.

Sirius opened his eyes to watch the veil again and what he saw made him jump up.

Hermione was on the other side.

He yelled to her "Hermione! Help me! Hermione!" but he knew it was hopeless, she couldn't hear him. He sank to the ground in despair.

Hermione jumped back from the veil. Writing had appeared on the side of the arch. She went back cautiously to read it.

"Hermione! Help me! Hermione!" she read aloud. She looked around in panic, who was writing, someone could see her.

"Who are you? Show yourself"

Sirius heard what Hermione said and looked around the room on the other side puzzled. Who was she talking to? There was no one there.

"She's nuts" he said to himself. "She's completely lost it!"

On the other side of the veil Hermione jumped back again.

A crazy idea occurred to Sirius. Could she hear him? It seemed stupid, nobody else ever had but… well it wouldn't hurt.

"Hermione. Can you hear me?"

"Who are you? What are you doing in here?" Hermione's voice was squeaky and panicked.

"Can you hear me?" Sirius was getting more and more worked up.

"Why do you keep saying that? It can see the writing!"

Sirius went right up to the veil and so he could see more clearly. There was definitely no one else on the other side. She had to be talking to him.

"Hermione its Sirius. Help me! I can't get out of here."

Hermione watched the writing on the arch appear again and spoke uncertainly in reply

"How can I be sure its you?"

The writing disappeared and came back

"Urm… well you can't really but… I don't know, how can I prove it to you?"

Hermione thought and replied slowly

"Ok, I will ask questions and if you answer them right I will believe you"

"These questions won't be too hard will they 'cos I think my general knowledge is a little rusty…"

"If you are really Sirius you will know the answers"

"Oki-doki fire away then."

"Right, question 1… Who is Moony?"

"That's easy, Remus. I thought this was going to be challenging"

"Ok, ok. Why is he called Moony?"

"'Cos he likes the clangers"

"Huh?"

"And the werewolf thing." On the other side of the veil Sirius was grinning.

"That's really sad"

"Yeah I know, next question"

"As we are on the subject of Remus… Who is he presently going out with?"

"That's not fair! How am I supposed to know that?"

"You're not I just thought it was good to drop into conversation…"

"Oh god who is it?"

"Guess."

"I give up. Tell me"

"Snape"

"What? I think I must have heard that wrong. What did you say?"

"Snape"

"NO!Did Moony lose his mind! Snivellus! But he.is.the.ENEMY! stupid slimeball No way is that greasy git good enough for Moony!"

"Yup, you passed. Definitely Sirius"

"So you were lying about the Snape thing?"

"No. Sorry"

"Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!"

"You can talk about that another time. Right now we have to get you out of there"

"Ummm… That's great but how are you gonna do that?"

"I have no idea… But I will be back"

With that Hermione turned and fled out of the door leaving Sirius sitting in the veil feeling sick at the bad judgement of his best friend.

"Just wait until I get out of here" he said to himself. Then he smiled.

"When I get out of here"

A/N: and that's the end of that chapter. Please review!


	5. Chapter 4

A/N: Hello again and welcome to the next chapter of this amazingly brilliant fic… well maybe not amazingly brilliant, possibly just good, or ok, or not too good, or complete crap. You choose. Thanks to my 2 reviewers, you guys rock! Not much thanks to the rest of you. I can see on my hits thing that over 450 people have read this. And only 2 managed to review. That is very upsetting; excuse me while I go over to the corner and cry…

Ok im back, but seriously… come on you got to be able to do better than that!

Anyway, complaining session over, here's chapter 4 (or 5)…

Regular- Sirius

**Bold**- Harry

_Italics_- Hermione

(This is just for the conversation in the DoM because it will get boring if I keep having to say who's saying what)

Chapter 4 

Hermione apparated outside Harry and Remus' house and ran in.

"HARRY! HARRY WHERE ARE YOU?"

"Don't shout Hermione. He's not here"

Hermione spun round and saw Remus standing behind her.

"Well where is he then?" she was beginning to get impatient. She needed to find him. She needed to tell him about Sirius.

"He's out. I'm not sure where. What's wrong?"

"I need to find him, I have to tell him something really important." She wondered whether she should tell Remus and get him to help but somehow she felt it would be better to tell Harry first.

"He might be at the leaky cauldron. He sometimes goes th…"

Remus didn't get time to finish his sentence before Hermione disappeared out the door.

The Leaky Cauldron was just as crowded as always and Hermione had no idea how she was supposed to find Harry in there.

She pushed her way to the bar asked yelled to the bartender over the shouts of the customers.

"Have you seen a man come in here? Dark hair, green eyes, weird shaped scar on his head, quite tall…"

She thought she would have to go into more details but the bartender nodded.

"Mr. Potter is over there." The man pointed to a dark corner at the far end of the pub.

Harry was with a tall blonde girl with huge boobs that were obviously fake. He looked very drunk.

She elbowed through the crowd towards him. When she reached him she tapped the blonde girl on the shoulder.

"Excuse me," she said very politely "but would you mind leaving so I can talk to my friend"

Unfortunately, the other girl had also had quite a lot to drink and was not in the mood for being polite.

"No, I was here first, find your own guy. Besides," the girl put her arms seductively around Harry's neck "Harry doesn't want me to go. Do you babe?" she started kissing Harry's neck and nibbling his ear. Hermione glared at her.

"Harry, I REALLY need to talk to you. Now."

"Go away 'mione, can't you see im busy?" Harry was slurring his words together.

The blonde girl, who was still draped around his neck, smirked at Hermione.

"Yeah, 'mione" She sneered "go away, we're gonna be busy here for a while." She giggled and turned her back to Hermione.

Hermione sighed and gave up. Why did everything have to be so difficult? Suddenly she was hit by a brainwave. She turned back and spoke to Harry and the other girl.

"Ok, I will go. I just wanted to tell Harry that his boyfriend just died in a tragic quidditch accident." She turned away grinning and waited outside the pub door to listen to the blonde girl shout:

"YOU'RE GAY! YOU PIG!" She could vaguely hear Harry shouting something after her about not having a boyfriend but she clearly didn't believe him as two minutes later she had stormed out of the pub looking like she wanted to kill someone.

Hermione smiled and apparated back to Grimmauld place.

Half an hour after the incident in the Leaky Cauldron, Harry returned. He seemed slightly more sober… And very angry.

"Why did you do that!"

" I need to talk to you"

"I don't care, you had no right to say that. It was a complete lie!"

"I know but…"

"What could possibly be that important?"

"Why do you mind so much. You're gay anyway. It's not like that was going to go anywhere"

"So? That was probably the only chance im going to get to get laid all week. Doesn't matter who it is. A man has needs you know."

"Ok ok I get it"

"Good so what is this thing you needed to tell me?"

"Well… I found Sirius"

Harry and Hermione had made it back to the Department of mysteries in record time. It had only taken Hermione a few minutes to explain the situation and Harry was too anxious to get there to be bothered with any details.

Sirius had only been waiting for Hermione to return for a few hours but to him it felt like an eternity. When them enter the department he could only see Hermione at first as Harry was wearing dark clothes and the room was covered in shadow. When he did, at last see him, he could barely recognise him as the boy he had left 6 years ago.

He was taller and his body was more toned from the war. He was tanned ad his hair had grown longer, although it still had the same messed up look to it. He had a tattoo on his arm and a dragon's tooth earring. Sirius was so surprised by the change in his godson that he almost forgot to answer when Hermione asked if he was still there. Then he felt embarrassed for being so thick and answered back snappishly.

"Yes, of course im still here. Where, exactly did you think I could have gone?"

"_Oh right sorry. Well… err… you can probably see I brought Harry with me, we are going to try and get you out, aren't we Harry. HARRY!"_

Harry snapped his eyes open. The alcohol he had drunk earlier was starting to take effect and he was struggling to stay awake

"**Yeah, where is he anyway? I can't hear him. Sirius?"**

"What's wrong with him?"

"Oh, he's just a little bit drunk. I didn't have enough time to get him a sobering potion"

"Right, so how are you planning on getting me out of here?"

"Urmmm… see well that's the thing… I really don't know" 

"**Where is he?"**

"Harry, look at the writing" 

"**oh… that's him?"**

"Yes" 

"**ok"**

"_Do you have any ideas about getting him out?"_

"**Pull the curtain back?"**

"Harry, can you please try and think with the part of your brain that isn't drunk. That is too obvious. Sirius must have tried that already"

"Actually I haven't."

"_You didn't try opening the curtain?"_

"No…"

"_Has anyone else?"_

"No…"

"_WELL TRY IT THEN!"_

Sirius reached out and touched the veil feeling a bit stupid. What if he had just spent 6 years sitting back here when all he had to do was pull the veil back? He took a deep breath and prayed that it would work and tugged the black material.

At first it seemed like it wasn't to move then suddenly it swung open and Sirius fell on the floor of the Department of Mysteries.

Harry stopped falling asleep and stared at the man lying on the floor looking completely stunned. Then he passed out into Hermione's arms.

Sirius stood up and brushed the dust of his clothes.

"So… where do we go now?"

A/N: Review!


	6. Chapter 5

A/N: i wasn't going to update this week because i have exams etc. but i decided to anyway because... well to be completely honest (which of course i always am) i just didn't want to revise. so here is the next chapter.

Chapter 5 

When Harry woke up he was back in his own room. He looked around and saw his clothes in a pile on a chair.

'Hermione must have brought me up here' he thought.

He settled back on his pillow and thought about the wierd dream he had had the night before. It had seemed so real. For a minute, just after he woke up, he thought it might have really happened, but it couldn't have done because dead people don't come back. He had enough experience with that to know. He sighed and spoke to himself out aloud.

"That's the last time I get drunk mid-day"

He was just about to turn over and go back to sleep when the door opened and someone stuck their head round.

"Harry?" the person whispered "are you awake?"

Harry snapped his eyes open. He knew that voice. He looked up and what he saw told him he was right. Sirius was standing in the doorway.

"Finally! i've been coming in here every 5 minutes. You know you sleep like a dead person."

Harry couldn't say anything. His mouth had completely dried up and he was just staring at Sirius like an idiot.

'Say something you loser!' he thought, but all that came out when he tried was a mumbling, croaky sound.

Sirius looked worried.

'oh great,' thought Harry. 'now he thinks im an idiot. quick say something smart!'

"Hi" Harry could've hit himself. 6 years and the best he could come up with was 'hi'. someimes he reall hated himself.

"Hi. you look suprised. do i have something on my face?" Sirius leant back so he could see in the mirror and fell on the floor. Harry laughed a him.

"No, i just...well... i... you're dead"

Sirius looked blank.

"You saw me come back Harry. remember? come on it was only yesterday."

"that was real? i thought it was a dream"

"wow. you really were drunk."

Harry looked slightly embarrased.

"i was only a bit drunk..."

Sirius snorted "Yeah sure."

"Well" he continued "seeing as you're awake now. you wouldn't mind me sitting down?"

"No course not"

Sirius sat down on the bed facing Harry. For the first time since he had entered the room Harry looked at him properly. The first thing he noticed was that he hadn't changed at all. He hadn't got any older since the last time they saw each other...

"Sirius, why aren't you old?"

Sirius laughed. I don't know and i'm not complaining. I'm still older than you. I have to say though... you are definately older than last time i saw you."

'and way more sexy... i did not just think that. i'm such a pervy old man. HE IS MY GODSON! but still he is... stop it!'

"Sirius are you ok?"

Sirius snapped back to reality and saw his godson sitting looking at him with a very confused look on his face.

"Yeah i'm fine. urm... hey, i need to go shopping later. i don't really have any clothes anymore... you should come with!"

Harry smiled.

"yeah sure. that would be fun."

"yeah... ok i'll see you in a bit."

Sirius began to stand up when Harry threw his arms around his neck. Sirius hugged him close.

"Sirius" Harry murmured

"yes?"

"i'm really glad you're back"

"me too"

A/N: a slightly pointless chapter i know but it was one of those things that had to be done. now they are all back and reaquainted i can play with them... evil laugh review! 


	7. Chapter 6

A/N: you can thank my sister that i managed to get up off my lazt arse and update because she is keeping me awake with her. All the usual stuff- please review, for those slow people who haven't picked it up already thins is slash (male/male... don't like it, don't read it. It really is THAT simple)

Disclaimer: the characters are not mine (i wish... still skint). please let me play with them peacefully without interference

Chapter 6 

Harry and Sirius spent the whole day shopping.

They been to every shop in diagon alley, then apparated to Hogsmeade and gone into every shop there aswell.

Only about 1/2 an hour of the time was spent buying clothes, which had been their original intention. The rest was spent running around madly, eating ice-cream and terrorizing innocent bystanders.

It was beginning to get dark by the time they decided to leave and they were just walking around Hogsmeade when Sirius stopped walking and pointed at something behind them, gasping.

"Merlin..."

"What?"

"It's like heaven... in a shop!"

"What is?"

Sirius pointed and Harry looked at what he was talking about. It was Zonko's joke shop. It used to be weasly's wizard wheezes but when Fed and George were killed Zonko bought it and now he had two shops in Hogsmeade. It had had an extension and was a lot bigger than the old one. Harry had forgotten that Sirius didn't know about it.

"Do you want to go in?"

Sirius looked at Harry like he had just asked if he would want to have his own private island and 30 flying motor-bikes.

"Of course i do! What kind of question is that!"

Harry laughed.

"Ok ok stupid question, let's go."

Sirius ran into the shop as fast as his legs would carry him followed by an amused Harry. When he entered the shop he proceeded to run around the shelves like a little kid on Christmas, looking at everything he could lay his hands on.

After a few minutes he stuck his head round the shelf where Harry was standing.

"We should prank Moony and Snivellus"

"Ok, if you think of something."

"Really?" Sirius had a look of pure joy on his face at the thought of playing a prank on his friend and his obnoxious boyfriend.

"Yeah."

Sirius ran off again and soon returned carrying armfuls things in bottles.

"These are some potions we could use...we can come back and get some more if there's not enough"

Harry eyed the huge pile on the floor in front of him.

"You know what Sirius. I think that will be enough."

Between them the managed to drag the huge zonko's bags home with them and hide them somewhere in the cupboard in Harry's room where they were sure Remus wouldn't find them. They sat down on Harry's bed, exhausted but happy with their day's work.

After a couple of minutes of silence Harry spoke.

"So had any ideas what we're going to do yet?"

Sirius shrugged.

"I picked up quite a few bottles of image changing stuff. I think it's a bit like polyjuice without the awful taste and having to put bits of people into it, plus it lasts 24 hours. And i got some magical bugs which might be useful and a whole load of other things which i didn't check the labels on but i'm sure we will find uses for."

Harry yawned.

"Ok you think of something tonight but right now i have to sleep. I'm shattered"

Sirius pouted.

"Ohhhhh, harrryyyy! please stay up and plot evil pranks with me!"

The puppy-dog eyes that Sirius was making almost mad Harry change his mind. But only almost.

"No. You can tell me tomorrow."

"fine then..."

Sirius bowed his head and walked really slowly out of the room sighing loudly about being unwanted and uncared for.

Harry smiled and got up to get changed.

A/N: review! 


	8. Chapter 7

A/N: I put how long it has taken me to update down to writers block. I heard a few days back that in the next book two really big characters get killed off… anyone got any ideas about who? If you do tell me because I really have no clue… hope it's Ginny (sorry to all those people out there who like her). Anyway, back to the fic.

The bits that are in these '' are Sirius' thoughts.

Chapter 7 

Sirius had spent hours thinking of a prank to play on Remus and Severus. He wasn't totally pleased with the end result but he put his failure to come up with something amazing down to being rusty, and distracted.

When he had finished writing down all the details, he lay back on his bed and thought about everything that had happened over the last couple of days, everything that had changed.

The habit he had got into, of thinking about things, hadn't gone away since he left the veil and he was beginning to wish it had because some of those thoughts, he would rather not have had.

Most of those were about Harry.

The boy that Sirius had expected to see had changed into a young man without Sirius seeing any of it. That thought made Sirius feel guilty and miserable because it felt like he had let his godson down again by not being there. What made him feel even more guilty was that he found the new Harry incredibly sexy.

Whenever they were together Sirius would end up staring at him practically drooling. He didn't think Harry had noticed yet but if it kept on like that it surely couldn't be much longer before he did.

Sirius let his mind wander to what would happen if Harry did find out…

There was possible scenario A in which Harry would be thrilled and they would have mad, passionate sex (this was Sirius' favourite one).

Scenario B, which involved Harry being completely disgusted and moving out and never speaking to him again.

Or C, where Harry would phone the nearest loony bin and have him put in a straight jacket saying the years in Azkaban and the veil had driven him insane.

The odds of it being A were definitely against him.

'But it _would_ be nice…'

'Godson'

'Yeah but it's not like I knew him when he was a kid and there's only about 14 years between us now'

'Godson'

'Ok I get it but I can't I just fantasize for a bit? Get it out of my system.'

'NO YOU SICK, SICK, SICK MAN!'

Sirius sighed aloud.

"I need help."

The next morning was the first day in months that Harry had woken up without a hangover. He ran down the stairs three at a time nearly knocking Remus over on the way.

Sirius was already awake.

"Hi Sirius"

"Finally, I've been waiting for you too come down for hours!"

Harry looked confused.

"Remember, we are going to prank Moony and the other thing?"

"The other thing?"

"Yeah well he finished all the bacon so he's been demoted from Snivellus to the other thing."

"Oh… ok then. So what did you come up with?"

"Right well this may sound a bit weird but hear me out… We are going to kidnap them!"

Harry blinked.

"…"

"Don't look at me like that. You said yesterday that there's still loads of deatheaters around right?"

"Well yeah but… I don't think Remus would be hugely concerned if we grabbed him and stuffed him in a cupboard."

"We're going to use the that stuff we picked up yesterday to make ourselves look like deatheaters and kidnap Remus. Then we are going to make the other thing do hugely embarrassing things to get him back."

"O…k… so where are we going to put Remus when we 'kidnap' him?"

"In my room"

"Don't you think he might notice its your room?"

"Nope I redecorated"

"When you say 'redecorated' you mean?"

"Its grey and damp and looks like a prison."

"Right… let's here this plan then!"

Sirius smiled. He knew Harry would come round.

A/N: in the next chapter there will be more details about this plan. Review and give any ideas about the deaths mentioned in the other a/n. thanks!


	9. Chapter 8

A/N: Here I am again. Back with another chapter. So far this fic has been kept up longer than any other I have ever written.  
I WILL finish it. I am so determined but i'm getting block every chapter now. No worries, it will go away. Anyway...

Disclaimer: (because i always forget these) not mine, i wish, doesn't everyone? Think of what all that money could buy.  
(daydreams of huge houses and butlers and a jacuzzi).

Chapter 8 (8)

Explaining he prank to Harry had taken a little longer than Sirius had thought it would. He had even had to get out the plan he had written out so Harry could read it before he had really understood. Sirius should have been really frustrated at having to spend so long going through it all but instead he enjoyed having Harry listening to him. He loved the feeling of having all of Harry's attention, even if it was only for a while.

Eventually, after the fifth time Sirius have gone over it Harry knew all the details. They left Sirius' room and went downstairs to get the rest of the things they needed.

Meanwhile, somewhere else in the huge house, Remus had decided to go on a cleaning spree. He had cleaned the kitchen,living room, his room, the big hall at the front of the house and Harry's room. He had been putting off doing Sirius' room until last because it was a complete mess but as he walked past he decided he might as well finish the job.

He had started to fix the covers on the bed when he saw a piece of parchment covered with writing and pictures. He was just going to leave it there and clean around it but his curiosity got the better of him and he picked it up and started to read it.

It only took him a couple of sentences to realise it was some kind of plan. As he finished reading a slow, evil grin stretched across his face. It was so typical of Sirius to go to all the trouble of making up a plan and writing it out, only to leave it where one of the potential victims could find it.

He carefully placed the parchment exactly where he found it and left the room to think about what to do with the information he had just discovered. Sirius wasn't the only marauder in the house.

Sirius and Harry had decided to work on Snape before starting the main phase of the plan. They had found a vial of veritaserum at the back of a cupboard in the kitcen. Sirius was trying to add it to his drink while Harry distracted him. Unfortunatly, Snape was always suspicious whenever the two of them voluntarily stayed in the same room as him so he wasn't easy to distract.

After several unsucessful attempts, Sirius managed to empty the potin into Snape's pumpkin juice. He smirked as Snape reached over and took a big gulp.

Harry pointed his wand at the door to lock it while Sirius conjured ropes to keep Snape attached to the chair and sound-proofed the room.

Sirius rubbed his hands together gleefully while Snape wriggled and yelled angrily.

"Don't worry Snivellus we aren't going to hurt you."

Snape was completely unconvinced and carried on wriggling.

"We just need to ask you a few questions."

"I'm not going to answer any questions so you might as well just LET ME GO!"

Harry sniggered.

"You will answer trust us."

Sirius nodded and carried on with his questioning.

"Question number 1... What is the one thing you would most hate to do? washing your hair doesn't count."

Snape made a strange mumbling sound as he tried not to speak but he couldn't fight the veritaserum.

"Go out with either of you two."

Harry cracked up laughing.

"Thank Merlin for that. Sorry Professor that is NEVER going to happen."

Sirius started to laugh then stopped and went completely white.

"What's wrong?"

"We can't use that. There is no way i'm touching him!"

Harry stopped laughing too. He didn't want to kiss Snape much more than Sirius did.

"oh... Well I guess I could do it. But..."

Harry shuddered, just thinking about it made him feel sick.

"I'll just... pretend he's someone else or something."

"You don't have to you know we can think of something else."

"No... it's ok. Well not really but it won't kill me."

Sirius really didn't like the idea of Harry kissing his enemy but he couldn't tell Harry that.

"Ok then if you're sure. Next question..."

They carried on with the questions until they thought they had enough. They found out that Snape hated the colour pink, that he would never be seen dead in a Santa costume and that he would never work as a waitor in the new restaurant in Hogsmeade where all the waitors and waitresses wore roller skates or any restuarant for that matter.

They probably could have found out more but the Veritaserum was waring off and they needed to erase his memory so he wouldn't remember any of their conversation. They undid his ropes and left him in the room with no memory of the whole incident.

"You know Sirius. I think this might go pretty well after all."

Sirius smiled an nodded but his heart wasn't in it. There were still parts of this plan he didn't like very much.

A/N: review my darlings! i'm trying to get onto a second page with the reviews. 


	10. Chapter 9

A/N: I'm moving up in the world... 9th chapter! that is even more amazing than when it was 8. Anyway, short a/n because they seem to be longer than the chapters are. Hope you like it, review (please!).

Disclaimer: I actually do own all the Harry Potter stuff J.K.R stole them from me... give me cash! ok if you believe that you are really gullible, two words... I wish.

Chapter 9 ...

"Ok, phase one- getting Remus into the 'prison'."

"Sirius..."

"Yeah?"

"How are you planning on getting Remus into your room without him noticing that he's being taken to your room?"

Sirius smiled, he always felt so smart when Harry asked simple questions like that.

"Well, the plan is to take some of this potion stuff, run around madly with wands looking scary, stun him and take him upstairs. Really easy, trust me."

"Oh right... Let's go then!"

Remus was waiting in the kitchen.

He knew Sirius and Harry would start their prank soon because Sirius had become excited and jumpy in the way he only ever was when he was planning something.

Sure enough his suspiscions were right and two men he didn't recognize crept into the room behind him. The taller man pointed a wand at his head.

"Don't move and we won't hurt you."

Remus only just managed to stop the laughter rising in his throat. The tall one was clearly Sirius. He had always liked using hugely cliched lines, Remus was never quite sure why...

Slowly, he stood up and turned to face his 'kidnappers' with his hands up, trying to look scared.

Sirius had a strange look on his face that Remus didn't recognize but he put it down to the whole of his face being different.

After a few grunts and threats from Sirius and some glares from Harry, Remus was tied up and stunned and carted off up to Sirius' room.

As they put Remus on the bed which had been tranfigured into a prison bunk Sirius was strangely quiet. Harry noticed and wondered what was wrong.

"Are you ok? you seem... distracted."

"Yeah, i'm fine. Let's get out of here. I want to have a shower before he wakes up."

Sirius was lyng when he said he was fine.

He knew Remus better than he knew anyone else and that whole thing had been way too easy. Remus hadn't even put up a fight or seemed even slightly worried.

He couldn't think of any explanation for that but he knew that there was one. It just wasn't natural to be able to kidnap someone like Remus without them even protesting.

A/N: short i know but it's not going to update for a week or so beause i'm going away so I wanted to put something up. please review! 


	11. Chapter 10

A/N: Hello my darlings, did you miss me? Probably not but oh well sigh I'm used to being unloved. Hey guess what… I got word! You are probably sitting there going "What the hell?" but it is a good thing because, now, I have spell check. It might not help at all but you never know. Anyway, moving on…

Disclaimer: None of the characters belong to me (well none worth mentioning) yet. But I might have an OC later on.

Chapter 10

It wasn't long before Remus woke up and, looking round the room, he had to admit that Sirius had done a good job disguising it. If he hadn't known where he was he would never have guessed he was in Sirius' room. He got off the bed and waited for someone to come in.

He had only been waiting for a few minutes when Harry decided to go and check on him. Sirius was still in the shower so he was bored.

He walked in and closed the door behind him and looked at the bed. Only then did he realise that it was empty. He spun round to leave the room and tell Sirius but Remus was standing between him and the door.

He considered yelling for Sirius but he knew it wouldn't work. The room had been sound-proofed to stop Snape getting suspicious.

Remus saw the look of panic on Harry's face and smiled inwardly.

"Going somewhere?"

Harry tried to look like he wasn't worried but he was unarmed and Remus was bigger than him.

"What's wrong Harry? You look scared."

Harry blinked and stammered. Remus had called him Harry. But if he knew that…

"How did you find out?"

Remus laughed.

"Sirius left the plans on his bed. Good plans, but not the world's best hiding place."

Harry groaned.

"Idiot." Then he looked at Remus. "But if you knew, why did you let us kidnap you?"

"I thought I could have some fun first."

Harry gulped; he didn't like the sound of that.

"What kind of fun?"

After about 5 minutes Harry had finished explaining the things they were going to get Snape to do, which hadn't been in the plan Remus had read, and Remus had decided what he was going to do.

"We can't do much with any of those except from the one where he has to kiss you."

"I would prefer just to miss that one out."

"Tough luck. You have to do exactly what I say because I can't watch how it's going."

"What if I say I won't do what you want?"

"Easy, I will tell Sirius you fancy him."

"What? But I never said that!"

"And?"

"Fine what do you want me to do?"

"You have to pretend you like Severus. Trust me Sirius will hate it."

Harry considered it. He didn't want to kiss Snape but he was going to have to do that anyway and Sirius reaction to his Godson fancying his enemy could be funny…

"Ok I'll do it."

"Excellent."

Sirius had been thinking about Remus reaction to being kidnapped for about an hour while he was having a shower and had come to the conclusion that he was just being paranoid.

He came out of the bathroom and crashed into Harry who was coming out of Remus' prison.

"Hi Harry. Is he up yet?"

"Urm… Yeah."

Harry ran down the stairs without another word.

Sirius shrugged his shoulders.

"Weird."

A/N: Review!


	12. Chapter 11

A/N: Sorry its been a while, but I'm back. Yay me!

Disclaimer: Must I really write these every time? They are depressing.

Chapter 11

Professor Severus Snape,

To keep this letter short and to the point we will start with what we are writing to say and avoid beating around the bush. We have stolen your boyfriend.

Maybe that is a bit _too _blunt.What we mean is that we have your boyfriend here with us and we do not intend on returning him. However, we are prepared to negotiate his release if you agree to completing certain tasks for us and to not telling anyone about these letters. These tasks may seem strange to you but rest assured, to us they make perfect sense and they are your only chance for the safe return of your boyfriend.

Send a message with this owl with your reply. We will only wait 3 days.

Signed

Snape sat back in his chair and groaned as he read the letter for the fifth time.

No matter how hard he tried, he could not work out what was going on or come to any vague conclusion about who had taken Remus.

He reached over to get some parchment and began to write his reply. He knew he was going to have to do what they asked. He didn't really have a choice.

oxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

"Harry! We have a reply!" Sirius yelled to Harry after making completely sure that Snape was nowhere around.

Harry poked his head around the door of his bedroom.

"What did he say?"

"He wants to know what his first task is! This is going to be so fun!"

Sirius looked so much like an excited puppy that Harry couldn't help smiling. He was so cute when he was like that.

"Ok, so when are you going to write back?"

"Now! See you later."

Sirius waved and grinned as he ran off to write his letter.

oxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Professor Severus Snape,

Would it be ok I we called you Sevvie? It would make letter writing so much easier.

Well Sevvie, this is your first task is to take a shower, and then to go and profess undying love to Harry Potter. This will require you to kiss him and if it is done well and in a public place we will consider letting you off one of the other tasks. Aren't we nice people?

Send word when you have done this. If you don't we will know.

Signed

Snape looked at the second letter with a look of complete disbelief on his face. What kind of task was that?

He was expecting to have to pay something or steal something but somehow, this was worse. How did these people know exactly what he would hate doing most?

He didn't dislike Harry as much as he had before but that didn't make the thought of having to kiss him any less repulsive.

He sighed. If he was going to have to this, which it looked like he was, he might as well do it properly. Maybe then these mystery people might go easier on him.

He put down the letter and went off to find Harry.

oxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Harry and Sirius had been waiting upstairs for Snape to finish reading the letter.

"Should I go now?" Asked Harry nervously.

Sirius didn't reply for a moment and Harry was beginning to think he hadn't heard until he said, "Yeah, go."

Without another word Sirius turned round and walked into the bathroom.

Harry walked slowly down the stairs wishing that he could be anywhere other than there.

"Harry… there you are."

Harry looked around to see Snape standing a few metres away from him.

"Urm… do you want to go out somewhere? I err… need to tell you something."

Harry swallowed. Suddenly his throat seemed very dry.

"Err sure… ok."

Snape led him to the door and they walked down to the end of the garden where they could apparate.

As Harry looked back at the house he saw Sirius watching them out of the bathroom window.

He smiled half-heartedly at him but Sirius' face stayed stony. Strange. He would have to find out if something was wrong later. Sirius usually never stopped smiling.

Harry was pulled out of his thoughts of Sirius smiling by Snape asking where he wanted to go.

"Oh urm… I don't mind. Anywhere."

"Ok, will the pub do?"

"Yup that's great."

They both disappeared with a 'pop'.

oxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

A/N: And so it begins. This chapter took a long time for various reasons. One of them being writers block. Now I have most of the fic worked out so I just have to write it. The next chapters should be a lot quicker. Review!


	13. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Sirius watched Harry and Snape disappear from the window and wondered if he should go and see how it went.

He had told Harry he would but now the time had come he really didn't think he could watch.

He had known since he had returned that he saw Harry differently now but he had thought it would pass. It hadn't.

He found himself wanting to spend all his time with Harry, just to be near him, and the in time he spent alone he couldn't stop thinking about him.

Sirius sighed.

He was going to have to go. Harry would think it was strange if he didn't.

He ran downstairs and out of the door and apparated after them.

oxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Harry was trying to make conversation with Snape and finding it a lot more difficult than he had expected. There were several awkward silences and Harry was beginning to with Snape would just it over with.

"So… why did you want me to come here with you?"

"I needed to tell you… something."

"Ok. So what was it?"

Snape said nothing. Maybe he had changed his mind about doing the task. Harry hoped so.

"Harry…"

No such luck. One look at Snape's face told Harry that he was about to do it.

"Yeah?"

"I wanted to bring you here to tell you that… well I mean… I err…"

"You 'err...' what?" Harry asked innocently.

"Iloveyou."

If Harry hadn't already known what he was about to say he never would have understood the jumbled sound that came out Snape's mouth. It was quite amusing really, to see his old professor so wound up.

"I'm sorry I didn't get that."

"I love you."

For a moment Harry had no idea what to say, he silently cursed himself as he searched his brain for a decent reply.

"You love me? But…"

Harry's reply was cut off by Snape's lips on his. He had to admit, Snape may be a slimy git but he was a very good kisser and a very convincing actor.

The kiss lasted for about five seconds before Snape pulled away.

Harry's head was a bit foggy for a bit before he remembered what Remus told him to do.

"I love you too."

Snape tried to hide the look of complete shock on his face but even he wasn't quite good enough at acting for that.

"I'm so glad you feel the same." Harry continued.

oxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

They sat there for a while longer. Harry talked and Snape sat, too stunned to reply. Eventually Harry made an excuse to get away and apparated home.

When he got there Sirius was sitting in the kitchen looking like he was about to kill someone. He didn't even look up when Harry came in.

"Hi Siri."

Sirius just grunted in response.

"Are you ok?"

"Yeah, I'm great."

"No you're not. I can tell. What's wrong?"

"THAT WASN'T PART OF THE PLAN!"

Harry stepped back in surprise as Sirius yelled at him. He had never seen him look so angry before.

"What?"

"You weren't supposed to go along with it! You could've just slapped him or laughed or something!"

Harry gulped. This was going to be harder than he thought. Why was Sirius so angry anyway?

"Maybe I changed my mind."

Sirius looked at him in disbelief.

"Changed your mind about what?"

"Maybe… maybe I like him now."

Sirius stared at Harry for a moment and then stormed out of the room.

Harry felt uncomfortable. That hadn't gone well at all. He decided to go and tell Remus what had happened. It was partly his fault anyway.

oxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Remus was sitting on his bed when Harry came into the room. He knew immediately that something was wrong.

"What happened?"

"I did what you said and now Sirius is really angry and I still have to play along with liking Snape which, frankly, is gross."

"He's really mad? Did he say why?"

"Because I said I liked Snape! Keep up!"

Remus was about to say something insulting back but the look on Harry's face made him change his mind. He looked really worried.

"I don't think that's it. That would annoy him and maybe gross him out a bit but I didn't think he would be angry."

"Well what is it then?"

Remus thought about what Harry had just told him but couldn't work it out. It felt like he nearly had an answer but he wasn't sure.

"I will think about it and get back to you."

Harry left the room mumbling something along the lines of "useless" and "Thanks for nothing".

Remus didn't even notice.

oxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

A/n: Review!


	14. Chapter 13

A/N: I'm going to give up apologising for my awful updating. Here is chapter 13. I made myself write it before I went away so if it comes out a bit jerky I blame the writers block. At least it's up. I honestly don't know how people manage to write whole books…

Chapter 13 

Snape couldn't remember a time in his whole life when he had been more confused.

The week before everything had been fairly normal, excluding the fact his boyfriend had been abducted and someone was sending him letters giving him strange tasks to do.

Now, suddenly, Harry was in love with him and had started following him around 24/7 and taking every opportunity to wrap his arms round him and Sirius seemed to hate him even more then usual. Even weirder than that was that Sirius didn't seem to be talking to Harry either. It made the whole atmosphere of the house seem wrong when they didn't spend every waking minute together.

Snape turned his thoughts back to Remus. If he ever did manage to get him back, how exactly was he going to explain why Harry was in love with him? Even worse, why Harry seemed to think his feelings were returned.

He sighed. At least life wasn't boring. Although he was beginning to think it would be better if it was.

oxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Remus was sitting on his bed thinking. He hadn't been doing much else recently. His cell wasn't exactly packed with fun things to do.

He had been watching Sirius when he came in to give him food or check he hadn't somehow managed to escape.

He may have changed his appearance but he still wore the same miserable pout he always had when something had gone wrong. After a couple of days of watching him walk around looking like his parents, grandparents, aunt, uncle and dog had died Remus decided to talk to him.

He was bored of sitting in his cell pretending to be confused anyway.

It had been about an hour since Sirius had last been in to check on him so he had worked out that he would be back pretty soon. He was right.

When Sirius came into the room he was so moody he hardly noticed that Remus wasn't sitting in his normal position on the bed. First, he just noticed that something was different.

When he had registered what it was he pulled out his wand and spun round, searching the shadows for his friend.

When he saw Remus standing in the corner, behind the door, he didn't know whether to be pleased that he hadn't escaped, or worried because Remus didn't seem at all concerned about the fact his 'kidnapper' was pointing a wand at him.

Remus spoke first.

"You can put that down Sirius I'm not going to attack you."

The look of shock that passed over Sirius' face nearly made Remus crack up laughing.

"H… how did u…"

"How did I know it was you?"

Sirius just nodded, still too surprised to form full sentences.

"You left your plans out on the bed."

"Oh…"

Sirius thought back to when he had finished writing out the plan and realised that he had, in fact, left the parchment lying on the bed.

"Damn. I meant to put it away."

"You really are an idiot sometimes you know."

"It's not my fault. I was thinking about…"

Sirius trailed off. He had been about to say he was thinking about Harry but he couldn't tell Remus that. He would think he had lost it.

"You were thinking about…?"

"Nothing."

"You always think about nothing. But that wasn't what you were going to say."

Sirius ignored the insult and tried to concentrate on a good excuse. Suddenly, all his years of experience with excuses left him and all he could come up with was…

"I can't remember."

Remus looked at him in a way which screamed 'Yeah right'.

"Do you want me to remind you what you were thinking about?"

Sirius had a bad feeling about where this was going but he tried desperately hard not to show it and just shrugged.

"You were thinking about Harry. Don't even bother denying it. I've had a lot of time to think about it and I know you well enough to know I'm right."

For one of the first times in his life, Sirius was lost for words. Until now no one had known about his feelings for Harry and now Remus had worked it out it felt more real.

"How did you work it out?"

"Harry told me your reaction to him kissing Snape and I just put the pieces together. It was very simple really."

Sirius felt like growling at Remus for his smugness but somehow he held it in.

"I hate it when you… wait a minute. Harry already knows you knew it was us who kidnapped you? Why didn't he tell me?"

"I told him not to."

"But still…"

"Look can we keep on subject. I'm sick of watching you mope around. Do you honestly think Harry likes Snape?"

"Yes! He said so!"

"Because I told him to!!"

Sirius thought about it for a moment before shaking his head.

"No. You're lying. You're planning something."

Remus groaned. He loved his friend dearly but sometimes he could be so obstinate.

"If you don't believe me then we can do a test.

Sirius looked at Remus. He didn't know what his plan was but it sounded interesting.

oxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Harry was sitting on the window seat in the living room when Snape came looking for him.

He looked up and inwardly groaned. This would mean he would have to pretend to like him again. He was getting sick and tired of acting like he was hopelessly in love with Snape.

Harry had begun to stand up and walk over to Snape when he realised that something was different about him.

"Are you ok?"

"Yeah, I was just looking for you."

That was weird. Snape never came looking for him. Most of the time he seemed to dodge him as much as possible.

"O…k…"

Snape walked up to Harry and put his arms around his waist.

"We should go out tonight."

Harry was confused. He knew Snape didn't like him. So what was this?

"We should?"

"Yeah. We really need to spend some time alone."

Harry started to get worried. What if Snape really did love him? That would be bad.

"Err I guess…"

Snape pulled Harry closer to him and kissed his hair. Harry tried to fight the urge to pull away and scream.

"Umm I think I left something in the oven I should go get it out."

"No you didn't. Stay here."

"I err… I have to…"

Snape pulled away a bit and looked at Harry.

"What's wrong? Have you changed your mind about us?"

"No I… Yes."

Snape tried to look sad but Harry could have sworn he saw a flash of joy go through his eyes.

"But, I thought you loved me."

"Well… I don't."

Harry wanted to turn round and run out of the room but Snape was right in front of him.

"But the last few days… You seemed to mean it."

Harry exploded he couldn't stand being so close to Snape anymore.

"I know. But I didn't. I was just trying to make Sirius jealous. But it didn't work and now he's mad at me. I like him not you."

Harry clapped his hand over his mouth. He hadn't meant to say all of that. He pushed past Snape and ran out of the house.

Snape walked up the stairs in a daze into the room where Remus was locked up.

"You were right Moony he doesn't like Snape."

Remus handed the potion to Sirius which would help him change back.

"What did he say?"

"He said he likes me."

oxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

A/N: Do you have any idea how long it took me to write that? Next chapter should be up soonish… I think.


	15. Chapter 14

A/N: Quick update before I go away. Here's chapter 14…

Chapter 14

Harry wandered aimlessly around the muggle town until it began to get dark. He knew he had to go back at some point but he couldn't face it.

Snape would have told Sirius what he said by now and Sirius would probably be so disgusted he would never talk to him again.

Ok so maybe that was a bit of an exaggeration. He knew Sirius cared about him and would try and be good about it but it would still be awkward. He didn't want to lose his godfather again so soon after he got him back.

What he had said to Snape had surprised him. He had known before that he fancied Sirius a bit and he had been purposely all over Snape in an attempt to make him jealous but he didn't realise just how much he loved Sirius until after he told Snape.

He looked around at the street which was now practically deserted and started to walk home.

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On the way into the house Harry bumped into Snape. He looked at him awkwardly and decided he should at least say something.

"Hi, um about earlier… I'm sorry."

Snape looked at him in a questioning way.

"Err listen… have you… would it possible if you could not tell Sirius? Please?"

"Not tell Sirius what?"

"About what I said earlier."

"Harry, I haven't spoken to you all day."

Harry looked at Snape carefully to see if he was joking. One look at the confused potions master told him that he was being serious.

"Oh… Never mind then."

Harry ran up the stairs to talk to Remus.

When he got there he flung open the door to see Remus hurriedly hide something behind his back.

"Remus something weird is… what's in your hand?"

"Nothing. What's weird?"

"It's not nothing I saw you hide something behind your back."

Harry lunged forward to grab it. Remus tried to get away but Harry was too fast.

"Why do have this?"

Harry held up the empty potion bottle that Remus had been holding. It was the appearance changing potion.

"I err… felt like changing my hair colour?"

Harry glared at him.

Remus looked around for a change of subject but he knew it wouldn't work. At that moment Sirius opened the door. When he saw Harry holding the potion bottle he stopped and grimaced.

"Hi Harry… what are you doing in here?"

"I was trying to get Remus to explain why he had this."

He held the bottle up in the air.

"Oh…he err probably just found it."

Sirius only had to take one look at Harry to know that he didn't believe him.

"He had it because I left it in here earlier. I used it for something."

Harry had a horrible feeling in the pit of his stomach that he knew exactly what Sirius had used it for.

"Oh yes? And what was it that you used it for?"

"Can we talk about this outside?"

Harry thought about it and decided that he would prefer it if Remus didn't hear this conversation which, he had a feeling, would be very awkward.

"Ok."

They turned round and left Remus looking disappointed on the bed.

oxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Once they were outside the room Sirius turned to look at Harry.

"Urm, ok earlier, when you were talking to Snape… That wasn't him. That was me."

Even though Harry had been expecting him to say it, it still came as a shock. When he had recovered the first emotion that hit him was anger.

"I'm sorry, I didn't think…"

Harry didn't let Sirius finish his sentence.

"No Sirius, you didn't think. I can't believe you would do that!"

"I know it was wrong and I'm really sorry but I needed to know if you really liked him."

"That doesn't give you the right to do that! It's none of your business if I like Snape or not. Just because you don't like him doesn't mean you can choose if I do!"

"But you don't. So why does it matter?"

"Why does it matter?!?!"

Harry was so angry he could hardly speak. He just turned round and stormed down the stairs and back out of the front door.

oxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

He apparated to the nearest bar he could think of. By the time he got there he wasn't angry anymore, just miserable. He had about 5 very alcoholic drinks to drown his sadness. The barman was pleased to see him.

"Hi Harry haven't seen you around here for a while!"

It was true. He hadn't been there once since Sirius had come back and that was nearly two weeks before.

Harry just grunted and ordered another drink.

At about 4:30am he staggered home. He felt sick and he hardly knew where he was but he wasn't miserable anymore and that was the only thing that mattered.

He crept up the stairs to his room and collapsed on his bed. Sirius heard him come in and went to try and talk to him.

"Harry?"

The room was dark and Sirius couldn't see him but he could hear him breathing.

"Harry we really need to talk."

"Why?"

The voice surprised Sirius. He wasn't really expecting an answer.

"Harry, earlier, when you said… do you really like me?"

Harry laughed bitterly.

"Yeah. Ironic really. The first person I've actually fancied in ages is the only one who doesn't fancy me. Life's cruel like that."

Sirius was about to answer when Harry carried on talking.

"You know, when you were dead all I could think about was how it was all my fault. I wanted you to come back so much. And then you did. But it didn't make a difference cos I'm still miserable and pissed off my head. I think that's just how I'm meant to be."

Sirius felt his way through the dark, closer to where Harry was.

"I'm really sorry Harry. I wouldn't have done it if I'd known how much it would hurt you. But you're wrong when you say I don't like you. I've been thinking about it a lot and… and I think I might be in love with you."

Harry couldn't think of anything to say. So he just made a noise that sounded a bit like:

"Mmneh."

"That's it just "mmneh"?"

"Well give me a chance!"

Sirius laughed sat on the edge of Harry's bed.

"I love you Harry. I really do."

oxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

A/N: Fairly awful chapter I know but I will try and make the next one better. I think there's still a few left.


	16. Chapter 15

A/N: Once again I'm sorry about the slow updates. I was thinking of rethinking the plan for this chapter because two of the people reviewing the last chapter guessed part of what was going to happen, but then I decided to stick to the original plan and say congratulations to you people who seem to be able read my mind. So for all my favourite readers who make this worth doing… Here is chapter 15…

Disclaimer: these things are stupid because if I owned Harry Potter I would be millionaire living in a mansion or maybe a house boat and would never be able to find time in my busy lifestyle to write fanfics. I'm really just a slightly obsessed fan with an odd imagination.

Chapter 15

Harry woke up at about midday to the sunlight streaming through his window. Any other day he would have leant back on his pillows and spent ages just soaking it in but the crashing pain in his head stopped him doing that. He hadn't realised quite how drunk he had been the night before.

He could vaguely remember staggering home at some time in the morning but not much else. He could also remember parts of a really weird dream he had had. The bits he could remember involved Sirius telling him he was in love with him and kissing him for a really long time.

Harry smiled grimly to himself. Seemed like a nice dream, pity he couldn't remember more of it. He dragged himself out of bed and downstairs to get some potion to get rid of his hangover.

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Sirius had gone back to his own room the night before after Harry had fallen asleep. For a while he had just sat there watching him with a little smile on his face but he was worried Harry would think he was a bit of a loser if he woke up and saw him still sitting there, gazing at him.

He walked out of the room and crashed straight into an amused Moony and a furious looking Snape.

"Black I'm going to…" Snape started, but Sirius wasn't listening. He was in his own little world where Snape didn't even exist and just walked straight past.

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When Harry got to the kitchen Sirius was already in there. He smiled at him trying to put all thoughts of his dream out of his mind.

Harry mumbled something about hangovers and how expensive the potions were to the other man as he opened all of the cupboards searching for his potion. When he found it he shuffled out of the room leaving Sirius confused and beginning to worry.

What if Harry had changed his mind about how he felt and that was why he hadn't said anything?

Soon Harry re-entered the room looking much more awake and started magically making orange juice. He was about the new broom which he was thinking of getting. Usually Sirius would have loved talking about it but he was too distracted and it wasn't long before Harry noticed that he was practically talking to himself.

"Did you hear anything I just said?"

"Y-yeah… of course I did." Sirius felt like kicking himself. It was so obviously a lie.

"Ok then what did I say?"

"Easy, you were saying how great I am."

Harry couldn't help laughing.

"Yeah that was it" he said sarcastically.

"Ok maybe I wasn't really listening."

"Really?!" Harry pretended to be shocked. "What exactly were you thinking about that was more interesting than me?"

It only took a few seconds for Sirius to decide to talk to Harry about the night before. If Harry had changed his mind he would rather know about it than keep worrying.

"I was thinking about last night and wondering if you had changed your mind."

Harry was confused.

"What about last night?"

"What do you mean what about last night? I don't know about you but there weren't a whole load of other things that happened to me last night. I spent too much time worrying where the hell you'd gone to do much."

Harry still looked like he had no clue what Sirius was on about. He also looked like he had just discovered his godfather was a madman.

"Don't you remember anything?"

"Not really… no."

Sirius turned around and pretended to be busy looking for something in the cupboards. He wasn't sure if he was ready to go through the whole conversation again. Especially as this time Harry was sober and thinking more clearly. He had been so happy before. He couldn't believe it had gone away so quickly.

"Siri what happened?"

Sirius slowly turned round to face Harry again. When he saw the look on Harry's face he knew he wasn't ready to tell him so he did the first thing that came into his head.

He walked across the kitchen to where Harry was standing and put his arms around his waist. He pulled the younger man closer to him and gently pressed his lips against his.

At first Harry was in complete shock but when he realised what was happening he wound his arms around Sirius' neck and deepened the kiss.

They stood for what seemed like hours, pressed together with their tongues dancing against each other. Sirius pulled away first.

"Do you remember now?"

Harry nodded and smiled as he rested his head on Sirius' chest.

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A/N: 1 or 2 more chapters and then I'm done. Review please!


	17. Epilogue

A/N: I have decided to make this the last chapter but there will be a sequel. That way I can do a different storyline and this one won't drag on too long. Logical right? So as this is the last bit I think everyone should review, as a special treat. Please look out for the next bit when it comes out because I really want to know what you think. So here it is. Chapter the last….

Epilogue

Sirius woke up and rolled over to watch the snow falling softly outside the window. It was nearly Christmas. It would be his first Christmas since he had come back from the veil. His first Christmas with Harry.

Thinking about Harry always made him smile. He had never imagined he would find anyone who made him so happy. He turned around again to stare at the sleeping face of the man who had come to mean so much to him. He was just as beautiful when he slept as he was when he was awake. Sirius hoped that he could wake up to see his face for the rest of his life.

He was so absorbed in his thoughts that he didn't notice that Harry had opened his eyes and was watching him. Harry laughed to himself at his boyfriend's glazed over expression and wound his arms around his waist.

"Anyone in there?"

Sirius snapped back to reality and kissed Harry softly on his lips. The kiss only lasted for a moment but to the two men the moment seemed perfect.

"I was just thinking about you."

Harry raised one of his eyebrows in a questioning manner.

"And what were you thinking about me?"

"I was thinking that you're beautiful and I love you."

Harry smiled. The smile lit up his whole face.

"I love you too Siri."

Looking at his young lover Sirius could see that he really meant it and that was the most incredible feeling in the world. He pushed himself on top of Harry and kissed him again, more deeply this time. As they lay together absorbed in the kiss, their tongues fighting, they both felt that, in that moment, the world was perfect. They didn't even notice when Remus stuck his head round the door and smiled to himself before closing the door on the happy couple.

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A/N: So there you are. My first ever completed fanfic. The sequel will be up when I've thought about the plot a bit more. I think it will be slashier than this one. Bye for now (please review)

xxx


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